


you're nothing (my everything)

by yeojinverse



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Yerim is Lipsoul's Child
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-21
Updated: 2019-08-21
Packaged: 2020-06-02 03:23:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19432915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeojinverse/pseuds/yeojinverse
Summary: jinsol could never understand why jungeun said those words, but one's thing's for sure: there's a lot of regrets.





	you're nothing (my everything)

**Author's Note:**

> i love hurting. enjoy reading!

_"So it's just going to end like this?"_  
_Jinsol frowned. She didn't expect those words from Jungeun. Never did she think that Jungeun could even say something like that to anyone, much more to her. Her eyes shined, looking at her girlfriend._  
_Can she even call Jungeun hers?_  
_"What has gotten into you?" Jungeun added, voice firm, as if she was putting all her hatred and combining them and just lashing it all out carelessly to Jinsol. Her eyes were sparkling with tears and anger was vivid in her expression. A small hiccup escaped Jinsol's mouth, those were the same eyes that once sparkled with tears and joy when they first confessed to each other._  
_"Jungeun, understand me, please. I'm just doing this for the both of us—"_  
_"You're just doing it for yourself!" Jungeun's voice rang on the enclosed bedroom, and Jinsol nearly shriveled with fear. She wanted to crow down, curl into a ball, return the time, or prevent everything. She never thought Jungeun's voice, which once lulled her to sleep with sweet words of I love yous, will want her to end herself just right at that moment._  
_"It's all about you, you, you, you, you and you! You never think about me, you kill me, you suffocate me!" Jungeun added, stressing out each syllable and Jinsol could feel herself getting smaller second by second. She backed away, again, again, again and again, until she reached the walls of the room they both shared._  
_Cold._  
_Cold. Just like how Jungeun feels. Cold. Just like how she felt when she heard the news. Cold._  
_Jinsol shuddered. She wanted to collect herself, to compose even a sentence of an explanation, a phrase, a word. She wanted to be brave and tell her honestly about what she knows. She wanted to be brave ever just for once. Jinsol could feel her legs wobbling._  
_She just wanted to tell Jungeun, but why can't she?_  
_"Jungeun, I care about you."_  
_That was all she managed to say, her eyes shifting so frequent, ice cold sweat bathing her. She regrets this. Why did she even tell Jungeun they need to break up? Why did she not even tell Jungeun any reason? Why did she even do this?_  
_"Then if you care about me, you would fucking tell me the reason why," Jungeun spat out, her words like knives, and Jinsol could feel each of them piercing her heart slowly, like a torture. She wanted it to stop. But Jinsol failed herself once more, because she wanted to hear what Jungeun had to say._  
_"I care about you, that's why I did this," Jinsol tried to say, to reason out, to argue… She had never wished for them to argue. Why are they fighting? Jinsol’s head bends down – at this point, Jinsol thinks she’s getting smaller and smaller._  
_“Jungeun, I love you,” Jinsol continued, her weak, quivering arms slowly reached out to Jungeun, hoping she’d calm down. She just wanted Jungeun to calm down, listen to her, but Jungeun has never been like this and Jinsol’s thinking of all the possible reasons how Jungeun turned out to be like this._  
_Jungeun just gave a look at her hand. Jinsol retrieved them._  
_“Then why must this end?”_  
_But Jinsol still couldn’t understand Jungeun._  
_“Honestly, you look like you’re playing with my feelings at this point, Jinsol. I’m tired.”_  
_Jinsol could never understand Jungeun._  
_“I’m so tired of having to keep up with you and prioritize you, Sol. I’m so fucking tired!” Jungeun screamed, and Jinsol could feel her ears bleeding. Her eyes were basically just red now, with tears falling uncontrollably. She couldn’t stop herself from overthinking, did Jungeun just kept everything to herself? Did she hide these feelings from Jinsol? Was she that burdensome?_  
_“We’re adults, you see? We should be helping each other because this is where everything gets hard! And you, you and your shitty requests for breakups every once in awhile! Do you even care for me?” Jungeun shouted one more time. Jinsol swore she could feel her heart tearing apart._  
_Please, please, just stop._  
_“Do you even give a damn about how I feel?!” Jinsol looked up, finally being able to see Jungeun’s red-rimmed eyes and stressed face. She hugged herself._  
_This is all my fault, Jinsol thinks._  
_She didn’t reply, but she looked pitiful. Her messy blonde hair sticking on her face. Crumpled gray hoodie wet with her own tears and sweat._  
_This is all my fault, Jinsol repeats._  
_“I said, do you even give a damn about how I feel?!”_  
_And that was it, Jinsol came to the conclusion her heart is beyond repair. She couldn’t breathe properly, her sobs came uncontrollably, her whole body shaking and shivering and weak and giving up._  
_Jinsol is giving up._  
_She loves Jungeun, but why does it seem like Jungeun is only breaking her continuously?_  
_Hear me out, Jinsol thinks._  
_“Tell me!”_  
_“Jungeun, I’m dying!”_  
_She put a hand on her mouth, preventing all the possible words and cries from escaping, confining them in with a small whimper. But when she stared at Jungeun’s face, it was obvious the younger was just tired of everything._  
_Jungeun didn’t believe her._  
_Jinsol decided she’d end this, so she’d end it._  
_Jungeun looked at her vacantly, asking a question she never thought would leave Jungeun’s mouth._  
_“Tell me honestly, what am I to you?”_

Jungeun still looked beautiful. She looked so majestic, magical. Even with the change of hair color and the different style of clothes, Jungeun always looked beautiful to Jinsol.  
“Mom!”  
Jinsol quickly removed her glance at the brown haired girl sitting a few tables away from her, on her favorite seat in this café. She tried to focus on her laptop, where her adopted daughter talks endlessly about her day.  
_"Nothing."_  
But Jinsol just started to tear up.  
"Mom, hey, are you okay?" The girl asked, waking Jinsol up from her daydream. Jinsol swiftly wiped her cheeks, flashing a small smile on her laptop and fixing her AirPod.  
"I'm okay, Yerim-ah. What do you want for dinner?"  
Honestly, nothing? How can she be so stupid before? Why did she say that? Who is she kidding when she literally adopted the little kid she and Jungeun have always wanted to adopt on that one center?  
Jinsol knew that deep in her heart she is never going to lose those feelings for Jungeun, nor would they fade away like the sound of the footsteps of the waiters passing by.  
Still, Jinsol can only look from afar. Five years of hiding and she swore she’d never approach the girl again, a message left unsaid after all those years.

"You're my everything."

**Author's Note:**

> message me @kjungeuns that's my cc and @orbitthefan on twt ily also tell me if you want this to be multichaptered hihi


End file.
